A budding social entrepreneur, please support me by following my journey as I build www.ownyourflair , a movement to empower people with ADHD and a holistic health platform.
This week, I am reflecting on 2021 and am sharing my thoughts on how I re-wired my brain to see my ADHD diagnosis as a positive life event.
Key points:
1. Before my ADHD diagnosis, society expectations and cultural norms had meant my brain was wired to conformity
2. After my diagnosis, re-framing this life event was essential to move forward with hope
3. Training as an ADHD coach was the best thing I did as it helped re-wire my brain to think about ADHD positively
4. I found a newfound appreciation for neuroplasticity — the process where neural networks in our brain change through learning and growth
Society and cultural norms meant 27 years of masking
Growing up in an immigrant Asian family, the pressure to conform to what my parents deemed as successful was immense. The burden was enormous, and it ate at me for years. On top of this, social norms of what success looked like meant I shunned away from my creative tendencies. I remember distinctively at A level, not choosing to pick any arts or creative topics and opting to study Economics, history, and psychology because I believed it would get me into a top university. I don’t regret the decisions I made. I thoroughly enjoyed learning, but I regret not honing my creativity.
It felt impossible to pursue any creative pursuits since I was just trying to stay afloat in my full-time jobs. Navigating the workplace with undiagnosed ADHD and autism was exhausting. I had to mask daily and hid my exhaustion in case I came across as incompetent. Little did I know that the daily exhaustion I felt was a combination of the undiagnosed conditions and the masking. The only way I can explain this feeling is it felt like carrying luggage around every day. I experienced frequent burnout and felt incredibly sensitive since my mental health was on the edge every day.
ADHD diagnosis — an important step to reframe things
Like many women during the pandemic, I realized something was seriously wrong and sought an ADHD diagnosis. I received my diagnosis in December 2020. This was the first step in giving me hope. Because I finally knew what I was battling up against.
This invisible condition called ADHD which had caused havoc in my life. Finally, there was a name and now I can research on how to best tackle this.
Having felt lost, I hyper-focused on learning everything I can about ADHD. This led me to learn about the profession of ADHD coaching. I signed up to train as an ADHD coach at the International ADHD coach training center. It cost me a whopping £5k, but it was very important for laying the foundations of how I was to re-frame my diagnosis and ADHD.
Training as an ADHD coach actively re-wired my brain
What do I mean by re-wiring my brain? Our brain is amazing in its ability to repair and form new connections. Neuroplasticity is when our brain actively reorganizes synaptic connections in response to learning.
I have been suffering from depression for 27 years of my life. Depression wires the brain a certain way. Small triggers would send me down a spiral of ruminating. I had flashbacks of traumatic events from my childhood on a weekly basis. I extrapolated many life events negatively, feeling sure that nothing good will come out of my life because past events have already shown how cruel the world was. I recognize now that this way of thinking directly results from my brain is wired to think that way.
As I began training as an ADHD coach, I learned about concepts such as the social model of disability; the strength-based model of coaching, and how ADHD has many strengths that are not discussed in the media. Learning these concepts actively rewired my brain. I started questioning pre-con-conceived concepts of what disability is and what ADHD is really about.
I started forming new connections in my brain and thinking about new concepts I have never thought of.
How does this re-wiring process in my brain feel? It didn’t happen overnight. It took many weeks of reflecting, learning, embedding new things I’ve learned, talking to people about it, and really believing in it. What it has done for my depression and self-esteem is unmeasurable. I was walking in a dead field for so long and now gradually it felt like I was finally pulling out the weeds, and now I can see the potential for new plants to grow.
Neuroplasticity — forming new brain connections for healing and growth
Without getting into the details of neuroplasticity, I want to highlight to everyone the extraordinary ability of the brain to learn by experiences.
My training as an ADHD coach was the first step for me to enter a new realm where I questioned the pre-conceived notions of what learning “disability” is and how society saw people with neurodiversity.
I gained empowerment and seemingly noticed my depressive symptoms decline (albeit and with the help of my ADHD medications). What this taught me is the power to see things from new perspectives and to actively incorporate what I learned into my daily being has helped me re-frame my entire existence. My mission now is to help many other people who are struggling with neurodiversity to experience this journey as I did. Therefore, I am building ownyourflair. I envision this platform to be the go-to place for a holistic health approach to managing ADHD, a knowledge and resource hub. I want to empower generations of people to view their ADHD differently.
After 27 years of muddling through life with depression, I finally experienced that glimmer of hope that I was desperately searching for. I know now that through learning, experiences, and new perspectives, I can have hope. Hope for a rewarding life and future.
