Dear neurodiverse friends, please leave environments that don’t focus on your strengths

In this blog post, I reflect on my experiences navigating the world with undiagnosed ADHD. Now I realised that people in a senior position focused on my perceived weaknesses and rarely was there a time where I focused on my strengths. My decision to leave the corporate world is the first step of embracing the mantra of putting myself in environments that will play to my strengths.

Key points:

1. Society forces us to focus on our “weaknesses” to function in the systems put in place by neurotypical people
2. Workplaces focus on weaknesses rather than strengths. There is always a so-called “benchmark” to meet before we can recognise strengths as valid.
3. The mental toll it takes on neurodiverse people to meet neurotypical standards is real
4. In a world with more flexibility, my hope is people with ADHD or any other neurodiverse conditions can have more power to shape environments around them so they can play to their strengths
5. If you decide to leave, have a plan

1. Why is society fixated on weaknesses?

Our society has this fixation on not failing. As a young student, my greatest fear was getting anything below an A. Yes, being Asian and having very demanding parents had a huge role to play in this. Reflecting on this, I realised that I spent a lot of my childhood using my time to get all my grades at an A grade and never spent the time on cultivating my strengths. I had a unique talent for art and design. At 10 years old, I was already cutting up my clothes and sewing them so that I could copy the latest fashion trends. By 15, I took part in a social textiles programme where I designed two jumpsuits made from donated Burberry material. But due to the pressures of being the firstborn to immigrant parents, I chose to focus on academics and pursue the university route. I don’t regret the choices I made, but I often look back and think where would I be now if I had followed my innate strengths…. which was the remarkable ability to think in 3D and create things in my mind.

2. Workplaces are obsessed with our weaknesses

I don’t want to talk on behalf of all workplaces since my experience is a very tiny snapshot. However, I always felt from my experience that I had a list of “competencies” to fulfil and rarely did I get a chance to talk about my strengths. I don’t ever recall having a development discussion with anyone about my strengths. I suspect this is because firms are fixated on people fulfilling a job description. In my opinion, this is a very outdated way of hiring people and even measuring performance. For neurodiverse people, our interests change fast and we may have very niche strengths which are not being taken advantage of. It is an utter waste not just for neurodiverse workers, but the whole workforce when managers don’t focus on discussing people’s strengths.

3. The mental toll of meeting neurotypical standards at work

I have ADHD. So inconsistency is in my blood. I want to emphasise here how exhausting it is to meet the neurotypical standards of being good at everything all the time. I spent hours trying to improve on skills that I am just not very good at because of how my brain works i.e. writing reports, drafting emails, minute taking. It got so frustrating because I was not using the time I had to focus on things I was good at and enjoyed! Eventually, this took a very negative toll on my mental health. I struggled to see my strengths and was convinced that I wasn’t good at anything. I realised it was the environment where I was constantly being compared to neurotypical standards. Since leaving the environment, I have a newfound appreciation for my many unique strengths and feel so empowered to live my best life. I now live by the mantra not to spend a minute fixating on my perceived weaknesses. There is no longer a benchmark I will compare myself against.

4. The move to remote working can empower neurodiverse people to shape their environments

It may be too early to say, but I believe increasing flexibility means increasing workers’ power. I think this gives neurodiverse people more options in shaping their work environments to suit their needs. I am working on many different projects, and having the option to work remotely has done wonders for my mental health. I no longer feel bored from going to the same environment every day and my creativity is not stifled. I take advantage of my environment by going to different coffee shops or co-working spaces. The new environments stimulate me and help me meet new people. If there is a day I want to do intense work, then I choose to stay at home because that is where I will get the least stimulation. On the days I am feeling creative, then I will work in a nice coffee shop. More flexibility means more power and I hope neurodiverse people can take advantage of that!

5. Leave environments that don’t focus on your strengths

Everyone knows this, but for neurodiverse people, this is particularly important. The mental toll it takes to mask and to meet neurotypical standards eventually takes its toll on us. It prevents us from being our authentic selves. It robs us of time we could be focusing on cultivating our strengths. It is tough when we are trying to navigate a neurotypical world obsessed with weaknesses. But just because the workplace doesn’t appreciate the unique strengths we can bring, please don’t think you don’t have any strengths. You are more than enough. Always.

6. Have a plan

Not everyone has the luxury of leaving their job just like that. Statistically, neurodiverse people suffer from double the unemployment rate of the general population. This is the result of the lack of accommodations at work. Therefore, deciding to leave your workplace needs to be a last resort where accommodations are not working for you. If you decide to leave, they have a plan. Have you got money set aside to buffer you for 6 months at least? It takes a lot longer for neurodiverse people to find jobs because we need to ask for accommodations and look for companies that will provide them. What training can you invest in to help upskill yourself and keep you less bored between jobs? There are tonnes of free resources online for you to learn new skills and there may be discounts for unemployed people. A few resources I used to learn new skills is Udemy, CityLit, Antler Launch academy.