I’m neurodiverse, not disabled… I am, however, disabled by the system
👀 This blog touches on my feelings of disappointment and probably PTSD from my experiences of navigating institutions that lack awareness of neurodiversity. I write to help process my feelings and to raise awareness about the importance of campaigns at work around neurodiversity.
💥Key points :
1️⃣ I don’t view myself as disabled, but the institutions are set up for the neurotypical majority does cripple my functioning
2️⃣ Part of the reason why I am opting for self-employment through entrepreneurship is that I have PTSD about working for another institution
3️⃣ I refuse to use my energy and talents on organisations that don’t prioritise neurodiversity
4️⃣ How I pick myself up from feeling the occasional lows of not being employed currently
Is neurodiversity a disability?
According to the Equality Act of 2010, neurodiverse conditions such as dyslexia, ADHD, Autism etc. counts as a disability because it “impairs” the person’s ability to carry out day-to-day activities. Since my dyslexia makes it difficult for me to read and digest information at a certain speed compared to someone who is not dyslexic, or my ADHD makes it difficult for me to focus on tasks, this constitutes an “impairment”. So under the law, I am protected by the Equality Act 2010.
However, I have problems with this because it implies that neurodiversity is an impairment… i.e. faulty. Compared to the neurotypical population, the neurodiverse community’s differences in processing speed, thinking styles etc. constitutes a difference but not an impairment.
I don’t see myself as impaired. I see myself as thinking differently to the majority of the population.
I am disabled by the system
The institutions such as our schools and workplaces, it was not designed with the neurodiverse in mind. What I mean by this is that the processes are built-in institutions, think the styles of learning, the way we assess someone, the measure progress, the recruitment process etc. does not cater to neurodiverse people who think and process information differently.
No wonder then that I feel disabled by the system. The system was not built for people like me!
It is no surprise then that statistically speaking, neurodiversity is correlated with higher levels of mental health issues and unemployment rates. I think a large reason for this is because we are forced to navigate through these institutions with minimal help and awareness. So yes I am disabled but by the design of the system.
My mental health has been compromised, which is why I am choosing self-employment
Reflecting on my experiences navigating these institutions, I struggled mentally because my dyslexia and ADHD diagnosis was discovered late in my adult years. The mental toll it took on me to adapt my learning style and the extra hours I had to spend on navigating processes just to get me through life, has taken its toll on my self-esteem, my confidence and my mental health.
I am focusing on entrepreneurship as a medium for my advocacy and because I am traumatised by my experiences.
I felt like I had to fight every day to make my needs heard.
I had to handle every ignorant comment that came my way, whether that was to comment on my grammar, or my slow processing speed etc.
I had to tell myself that neurodiversity does not impact my intelligence
I had to stay resilient and work 10x harder
I had to learn to advocate for myself
I cried myself to sleep sometimes hating my brain for not being “normal”
I had to navigate being told I was dyslexic and had ADHD as an adult
I had to learn how to explain to work colleagues how my neurodiversity impacts me
I had to learn to stop seeing myself as a victim of this system
I could go on and on… but I am happier now. I feel free and not bound by processes that will judge me for thinking differently.
I refuse to use my energy on organisations that don’t prioritise neurodiversity
I made myself a rule that I will not apply for a job or any opportunity unless I am sure that the company and its workers understand the importance of neurodiversity. My mental health and energy are too precious to be wasted on companies who are good at marketing their diversity strategy, but don’t whom don’t take neurodiversity seriously. Part of it is most likely PTSD but also I know from experience that no matter how much I advocate for myself, processes don’t change overnight.
And I do not have the energy to fight in an organisation that will not recognise the need for top-down support of neurodiversity.
Remembering my worth is not tied to a salary
Navigating self-employment is difficult. This is tied to my cultural background of being told from a young age that financial security is important and I have subconsciously embodied it as a sign of my self-worth. I have gained a lot since leaving my job. I found my voice. I found a community I am passionate about. I am dedicating my time and energy to a cause I strongly care about. My mental health has improved significantly. But I am angry and feel like I am not fulfilling my potential. Part of this is because I don’t have a regular salary and a part of it is being scared about my future and the unknowns. I try to remind myself that my mental health is a priority. And to continue to believe in my advocacy work. I am no longer going to return to a path that has not worked out for me, unless I see significant changes in the landscape of work which is one of the accomodating neurodiverse people. I hope this future is not too far in the future.
